Sensation play is also one of the most accessible kinks out there and is especially good for kink newbies who don’t want to go full on 50 Shades of Grey. Think of this a lighter shade of gray…  

We know, “sensation play” sounds pretty vague. So vague in fact that most people outside of the kink world don’t pay much attention to it. After all, doesn’t all sexual activity play with our senses? Well, yes but sensation play refers to a specific sex of activities within a kink setting. It’s a way of exploring different sensations that you wouldn’t necessarily relate to sex usually.  

Whether you consider yourself kinky or not, it’s also likely you’ve already tried some aspect of sensation play before. If you’ve ever used ice cubes, a blindfold, or a warming massage oil with a partner, then you’ve experienced it. And if not, then you might just like to try it.

Sensation play is a great entry level kink because it doesn’t require any special equipment so you can use everyday objects that you already have around the house. And there is a huge range of activities that you can do, depending on if you’d rather be moaning “ohhh” or screaming “argh!”.  

In this article, we’ll explore how sensation play can heat things up between the sheets and get intune with your sexual curiosity. Buckle up, because things are about to get steamy…

Read next: What is Guided Masturbation? And Why You Should Practice It

What is sensation play?

Sensation play is a type of sex that involves stimulating the body through different sensations like touch, temperature, pressure, and pain. Sensation play is not about causing pain but rather about exploring different sensations in a consensual and safe manner. The key is to experiment and find what feels good for you and your partner.

Sensory sex: Benefits of sensation play in relationships  

Sensation play is a great way to spice up your sex life and add some excitement to your relationship. It can be a fun and sexy way to explore each other’s bodies and get out of your comfort zones. Here are some of the benefits:

1. It can help you focus on pleasure – When you’re focusing on giving or receiving pleasure, it can be easy to forget about everything else in the world. This can help you connect with your partner on a deeper level and enjoy the moment.

2. It can increase intimacy – By exploring each other’s bodies and sharing new experiences, you can create a stronger bond with your partner by creating a sense of trust and vulnerability between partners. This can lead to greater intimacy both during sex and in your relationship overall.

3. It can make sex more exciting – Trying new things in the bedroom can help keep the spark alive in your relationship. If you’re always doing the same old thing, sex can start to feel routine and boring. Adding some variety with sensation play can help keep things fresh and exciting for both of you.

4. It can help you learn more about your partner’s body (and yours) – Sensation play is all about exploration. By exploring different sensations together, couples can build a deeper understanding of each other’s desires and boundaries. You may learn more about what turns your partner on – and what turns you on too! This knowledge can be invaluable when it comes to planning future sexual encounters.

5. It’s just fun – Ultimately, sensation play is all about having fun with each other. 

Prefer to watch & learn from the experts instead of reading?

Check out Own Me on afterglow. Jet Setting Jasmine dominates Sarah Lace with impact, pain, temperature, sight, and taste play.

As you’re watching pay attention to the following: 

• The pre-play conversation, summary of safe words, and division of responsibilities 
• Discussion of the different elements of sensation play and splitting them up into hard no’s, yes’s and maybes
• How Jasmine uses soft touch on Sarah’s body between hitting and spanking 
• Level of communication throughout the play that creates a safe experience for the submissive with check-ins and questions throughout 
• How far away from the body Jasmine drops the wax from the candle to ensure it’s not too hot when it lands on Sarah’s body and the use of cool water after the hot wax 
• The post-play conversation 

Then, try it for yourself. 

CTA: Watch Own Me on afterglow now. 

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The different types of sensation play  

There are many forms of sensation play and they range from soft and painless to hard and painful. You can combine play that engages multiple senses at once, or you can use one sense at a time to enhance others. Sensory sex is all about experimenting and keeping track of the sensations that you enjoy. 

Some of the most common types of sensation play include: 

Temperature play

Temperature play involves using hot or cold objects to add new sensations and stimulate the body. If you want to feel the cold then run ice cubes over your or your partner’s body. You can also experiment with putting your glass or stainless steel wands, butt plugs, and dildos in the fridge or freezer to cool down before using them – just make sure they’re not too cold enough for you to tolerate! 

If you want to experiment with heat then try experimenting with hot wax candles. Burn them and drip the melted wax over your or your partner’s body. Be careful to use specific massage candles that burn at a lower temperature and are body-safe. Don’t use regular candles as they can be too hot and made of chemicals that aren’t safe for the human body. It’s also important to never apply wax directly to the face or genitals.

For other types of heat play, you can also experiment with heated massage stones, use a warming sex toy, or give your partner a massage with warm massage oil. 

Expert tip for temperature play: If you’re using massage candles, blow the flame out before pouring the wax to make sure the wax doesn’t heat up further when passing through the flame. 

Impact play

Impact play is any practice that involves one person receiving impact—such as using whips, paddles, canes, and floggers to spank or hit the body—for the sake of pleasure or release.

There are many factors that will affect how the impact feels including the tool used, the person doing the hitting, the receiver’s pain tolerance, the relationship between the giver and receiver, current stress levels and much more. Impact play can be intense, so it is extra important to communicate and establish boundaries before engaging in it. 

Impact play is usually split into two categories: thuddy and stingy. Generally speaking the larger the instrument used for impact play the “thuddier” it will be, and the smaller the stingier. E.g. a paddle will create more of a thuddy impact, while a whip will be more stingy. You may like one type or you may like both, it’s completely individual.

And as a general rule, the meatier the area on the body the safer it is to hit. This means that the butt and thighs are good to go, but the stomach, lower back, and other areas around your organs should be avoided.  

Expert tip for impact play: Putting your hand on the area that you just hit can reduce the stinging sensation for the receiver.

Bondage

Bondage involves restraining the body using ropes, handcuffs, or other restraints. It can create a sense of vulnerability, which can be a turn-on for some people. Restraining your partner (or being restrained yourself) can also add an element of excitement and suspense to sex. If you’re new to bondage, start with simple restraints like handcuffs or scarves tied around wrists or ankles.

The person doing the tying up can explore domination of another. While the person being tied up can explore self-surrender and letting go of control. It also plays with deprivation of movement which means the other senses are further heightened. 

Expert tip for bondage: Don’t jump straight into tying every limb of your partner down spread eagle, start with tying one body part to get a feel for it. 

Tickling

Tickling involves using light touches to stimulate the body and is used to relax, arouse, dominate, abuse, or humiliate a partner. It can be a fun way to explore sensation play without engaging in anything too intense. You can use a feather, pinwheel, flogger, chains or your hands to explore different touches and pressures of  tickling.

Expert tip for tickling: The most popular places to tickle are the feet, underarms, and rib cage but don’t limit yourself to these areas. Explore the genitals, breasts, inner thighs, neck, cheeks, and bum!

Sensory deprivation

Sensory deprivation involves limiting or removing one or more senses like sight or hearing. Blindfolds, earplugs, and hoods are some examples of tools used for sensory deprivation. Depriving yourself or your partner of one sense can heighten the other senses, making them more intense which can make even the simplest of sensations feel much more erotic.

Expert tip for sensory deprivation: Blindfolds might be the classic sensory deprivation tool but ear plugs can be used to tease a partner who becomes aroused by the sound of your sexy voice when all they can see is your lips moving.  

Sensual massage

You can also use sensual massage as a form of sensation play. Use your hands, feathers, fur brushes, or massage candles and try out different techniques and see what gets your partner going. 

Expert tip for sensual massage: Keep your hands on your partner’s body as you move from one area to another, that way you won’t startle them when you’re suddenly massaging a new area of their body. 

Read next: How to Give a Sensual Massage That’ll Make Your Partner Melt

ASMR 

ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) is the tingly sensation that some people feel when listening to certain sounds, known to some as “brain orgasm”. Some people use it to relax and reduce anxiety, and some people use it for sexual pleasure. There are tons of free ASMR videos on youtube if you want someone else to create the sound for you.

Expert tip for ASMR:  If you’re doing it with a partner you can experiment with whispering, blowing, or breathing in their ear.  

Electricity play 

This is not for beginners but if you’re looking for something a little more intense, you can always try electrical stimulation. This can be done with special devices made for this purpose, but it’s important to check in with your partner and pay attention to their cues to make sure they’re enjoying it.

If you’re new to this type of play, start off by using an electric wand as they use very low levels of electricity that stays localized, penetrating the skin just a few millimeters deep where they touch the body. Use the wand to glide over your or your partner’s body for little electric shocks. How it feels will vary from person to person – for some it can feel like a gentle tingle, for others it may feel sharp and biting. A person’s pain tolerance, how dry the skin is and their muscle density will all affect how it feels.  

Expert tip for electricity play: Don’t use electricity above the waist – electrical currents near your chest and heart can be dangerous. 

No matter how you choose to incorporate sensation play into your sex life, the important thing is to have fun and explore each other’s bodies in new and exciting ways.

How to ask your partner to try sensation play 

OK so you’ve decided you want to try some form of sensation play, but how do you bring it up to your partner? It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous bringing this up to your partner but these conversations can increase intimacy between you or rekindle a lost spark.

So how do you do it? Follow these steps… 

1. Don’t bring it up when you’re about to have sex – think about the right time to have the conversation, whether it’s over a glass of wine or a nice dinner. But don’t do it in the bedroom when you’re already about to have sex. Ask for their consent to have the conversation and make sure it’s a good time for them too. If it’s not, then reschedule it for another time. 

2. Focus on making it as positive as possible – avoid negative or accusatory statements. Instead of saying “I want to try something new because I’m bored of our sex”, say “I’ve been thinking a lot about ____ and think it would be really fun if we tried it together, what do you think?” 

3. Give them time and space to think about it – tell them that you’re here to answer any questions and they don’t have to answer right away. Let them take their time to process and come back to you. 

4. If they say no, don’t pressure them – don’t take it personally, all it really means is that it’s not something they want as part of their sex life. Then it’s up to you to figure out if this is a need or a want for you. Is it a non-negotiable from a partner or is it something that you can explore alone? 

Communication and consent during sensation play 

If your partner has agreed to exploring sensation play with you then the next step is communication and consent during play. 

Before starting, have an open and honest discussion about their desires, boundaries, and limits. It is important to establish a safe word that can be used to stop the activity if it becomes too intense or uncomfortable. 

Most importantly, communication should be ongoing throughout the activity to ensure that both of you are enjoying yourselves and feel safe. If someone starts to feel uncomfortable, stop immediately and check in with them. Sensation play should be enjoyable for everyone involved, so make sure that everyone is always on the same page.

Read next: Talking About Sex: A Guide to Sexual Communication 

Safety measures to consider 

Sensation play can be safe if proper precautions are taken. It’s important to use tools and toys that are specifically designed for the purpose and to follow the manufacturer’s instructions. It’s also important to avoid engaging in sensation play when either partner is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. 

There are also some aspects of sensation play that are best left to the more experienced or with strict safety measures, such as:

• Advanced techniques such as electricity play, cutting, and fire play should be left to experienced people with proper training. Don’t attempt these if you’re new to sensation play.  
• Breath restriction should only be done in a way that gives the person being restricted the control. I.e. asking your partner to hold their breath, or holding their nose but keeping their mouth free. 
• Using ropes to tie yourself or your partner up without knowing the proper technique can cut off circulation or cause abrasions – stick to leather or fabric ties.  

Always consider both your physical and mental safety. Build up slowly to more intense sensations, using a safe word if needed, and listen to your body’s response. If something doesn’t feel good, stop!

Mentally, sensation play can be intense and even overwhelming. It’s important to check in with your partner regularly to make sure they are still enjoying themselves. If either of you start to feel uncomfortable or stressed, take a break or call it quits altogether. Remember, this should be fun.

Tips for beginners in sensation play

Start simple 

For beginners, start with something simple, like a sensual massage or even just lightly running your fingers over your partner’s skin. This will help you both become accustomed to sensation play without it being overwhelming. Once you’re comfortable with this level of sensation you can start experimenting with different techniques and intensity levels.  

Experiment alone 

It is totally possible to start experimenting with sensation play alone before doing it with a partner. It offers a safe, controlled environment for you to see if you like the feel of something before engaging in it with someone else. Although some sensations are different if you do it compared to someone else – i.e. tickling, wax play, and impact play – it will give you a taste for the feeling and if you’d like to try it again. 

Aftercare! 

Sensation play can be intense emotionally and physically. Be sure to give yourself or your partner the time and attention needed for a sensational end to your play session. 

Conclusion: Feeling the heat with your partner  

Sensation play can be a fun and exciting way to add some spice to your love life. By exploring different sensations together, you can deepen your connection and intimacy with your partner. So, why not give it a try?

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