How to give a sensual massage that will make your partner melt
Picture this: you’re rubbing your partner’s warm, naked body down with oil. You’re confident you know exactly how to give a sensual massage that will strip away their stress. As you push the heel of your hand deeper into their ass, they moan softly. Their skin is glowing in the candlelight. You flip them over so they’re laying on their back. They look up at you in bliss, eager for whatever is coming next.
Whether you’re giving or receiving, what’s not to love about a sensual massage?
What is a sensual massage?
A sensual massage is a massage with added elements that feel arousing or sexual for you and your partner. Sensual massage can be a great way to mutually relax, build sexual tension, and physically connect with your partner. But it can feel vulnerable when you’re still learning what your partner likes, how to give a sensual massage that feels fantastic to them, and how to give a sensual massage in general.
Some sensual massage incorporates genital touch, sex, and orgasms, but your massage doesn’t need to end in an orgasm or penetration to be sensual. It’s always up to you and your massage partner to decide what types of touch feel best for both of you.
How to give a sensual massage in five steps
We partnered with adult performers Daisy Ducati and Leya Falcon to show you exactly how to give a sensual massage. Read through this step-by-step guide featuring Daisy and Leya’s expert advice. Then, see their tips in action as they practice on each other. Nothing like visual learning. 😉
1. Set the sensual massage scene for pleasure
Before you can hear your partner moaning in your ear and begging you for more, you’ll want to create an environment that’s nice and relaxing for them. For your massage table, you can use a bed, an actual massage table (if you happen to have one), or blankets and pillows on the floor.
Make sure to lay down a soft towel because massage oil (and other bodily fluids) can get messy. Plants, candles, incense, dim lighting, and relaxing music can all help to create a sensual vibe.
You can also check in with your partner to see if any scents, sounds, or setups are particularly relaxing for them.
While you’re checking in about the setup, you can also ask about their boundaries around physical touch today. Is there anywhere they really want to be touched or massaged? Anywhere they don’t want to be touched or massaged? Anything they want you to check in about during the massage? Then, affirm that you hear what they’re saying. “Your shoulders and hamstrings are tense; I can work with that. I won’t touch the bottoms of your feet. I’ll ask before I touch or lick your vulva.” Communication is sexy, important, and relaxing.
2. Get a feel for your partner’s skin
When you’re both ready to get started, have your partner get naked and lay on their tummy in a position that feels comfortable. Apply some lube or massage oil to your hands, and rub your hands together to warm them up. You don’t want your partner to feel anything cold or shocking on their skin.
When your hands are warm, gently push into your partner’s lower back and glide your hands up and down their body. Focus on feeling their body respond to your touch. Do you notice any sore spots or tension? Is their skin warm or cold? Do they seem sensitive to your touch in certain areas? How does the pressure feel to them? Notice how their skin warms up as you touch it, and try to maintain contact with their body for the rest of the massage.
3. Start at the feet and work your way toward the neck
Sensual massage is all about creating a holistic erotic experience. You don’t want to neglect any part of your partner’s body. The whole body is an erogenous zone.
Start with their feet. Gently squeeze each toe, massage their arches (especially if they ever wear high heels), and rub their heels and ankles.
Squeeze your way up the ankle and calf, being careful as you approach the back of their knee. The back of the knee can be sensitive, and might be a place to play with lighter touch. Continue to work your way up the back of the hamstring, using your thumbs to apply concentrated pressure in a kneading motion.
As you move your hands toward your partner’s groin, have them spread their legs a little wider. Stroke from the inside of their groin toward their outer thigh using a hand-over-hand motion. You can also trace the creases under their butt cheeks with your thumbs, applying firm pressure.
Pay special attention to the butt (it holds a lot of tension, and it’s also fun to squeeze and touch.) Use the heel of your hand to apply firm pressure to their glutes. You can even make a fist and knead out any tight spots.
Then, work your way up their lower back, making miniature circles with your thumbs as you follow their spine toward their neck. Don’t neglect the shoulders, and take your time revisiting any tight, tense, or pleasurable spots.
4. Have your partner flip to the front, and please the pelvic area
Next, have your partner flip over, so they’re laying naked on their back. Take in the view, and consider sharing a reminder of how it makes you feel to see them naked on their back, like, “I’m really turned on just looking at and touching you right now,” or, “You’re so sexy.” You can even give them instructions like, “I want you to close your eyes and relax while I explore your body.”
When you’re ready, start by rubbing their hip flexors with your thumbs. Hip flexors can be very sensitive, so make sure to check in with your partner about what feels good.
Pay special attention to the pelvic area. Make your hand flat and rub your partner’s pelvic mound to get the blood flowing to their genitals. If your partner has a vulva like Leya, you can squeeze the outer labia together around the clit, rub your thumbs into the creases between the outer labia and inner thighs, and glide over the vulva with a hand-over-hand motion. If your partner has a penis, you can use a hand-over-hand motion to rub their shaft. When in doubt, try a few things, ask your partner what they like, and stick with it.
While your partner is laying on their back, you can also squeeze and rub the breasts or chest.
5. Don’t be afraid to use your tongue
Now that your partner is warmed up and relaxed, try adding your tongue and lips to the mix. You can enhance your sensual massage by licking or sucking your partner’s vulva or penis. When using your tongue on a vulva, play with different speeds, rhythms, amounts of pressure, suction, and the surface area of your tongue on their vulva. When using your tongue on a penis, try out different speeds, amounts of suction, and incorporating your hands. As you play with different sensations, ask your partner what they like. Then, repeat it until they’re purring.
Tips & tricks on how to give a sexy massage you’ll both love
Now that you know the steps, let’s dive into ways to make your massage experience even better for both of you.
Communicate and lubricate
This is the golden rule for sensual or sexy massage. Let’s break it down.
Communicate. Different people like different things, so it’s important to ask your massage partner lots of questions.
Here are a few ideas:
- Do you prefer a softer touch or a more firm touch?
- Is there any area that’s particularly sore?
- How’s the pressure?
- Do you like it more when I do this, or when I do this?
- Are you warm enough?
It can also be really hot to tell your partner exactly what you’re going to do to them. When Daisy is oiling up her hands, for example, she tells Leya, “We’re gonna rub down your whole body.” This builds sexual tension throughout the massage.
Lubricate. Massage feels best with less friction. You don’t want to rub your partner raw. Lubricate before and frequently throughout your massage, especially any time your hands start to feel dry or sticky.
Maintain contact with your partner’s body
Keep contact with your partner’s body throughout the massage. Rather than picking your hands up and moving them from one part of your partner’s body to another, slide them where you need them to be. You can also create additional points of contact by draping your torso over your partner’s back or butt as you lean to massage their shoulders or feet.
Enjoy the view, and share your enjoyment with your partner
Massage is more fun for both parties when you, the masseuse, are enjoying yourself. Remember to slow down and enjoy what you’re doing. Watch your partner’s skin stretch under your fingertips. Notice their curves and muscles. There’s nothing sexier than being here, in the moment, with your naked partner.
For your partner, there’s also nothing sexier than feeling desired and appreciated. Share how you feel about your partner’s body and about being here with them, and do it frequently. This will help them relax, turn them on, and make them feel connected to you.
Strip down to heighten the sexual energy
Sensual massage is even more sensual when you’re both naked. Daisy wears lingerie while she massages Leya, but then she takes it off. Whatever you wear (or don’t wear), pick something that makes you feel sexy, too.
Incorporate toys into your sensual massage
Vibrators can feel amazing on tense muscles. There’s nothing like sending waves of pleasure toward your partner’s tight spots. Try using a vibrating wand to level up your massage. You can use it on your partner’s quads, back, butt, vulva, and anywhere else that feels good for them.
Take your time with each part of your partner’s body
There’s no rush. Sensual massage is all about pleasure, and pleasure takes time.
“Remember, sensual massage isn’t necessarily about getting the person to orgasm. It’s about creating an erotic experience.”
-Daisy Ducati, How to Give a Sensual Massage
Aftercare following a sexy massage
The fun doesn’t have to end when the massage (or the sex) ends. Cuddle, pillow talk, share compliments, and enjoy being relaxed together. If you want to go above and beyond for your partner, try asking, “Can I get you anything?” (This question alone may induce orgasm for some.)
Ready to put learning how to give a sensual massage into practice?
To hear (and see 🙈) all of Daisy and Leya’s tips and tricks in action, go ahead and watch their short film.
Ready to experience sensual massage yourself? Send this to a partner for inspiration, and tell them exactly what you want. Life can be stressful. You both deserve a release. 😌
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