Despite what you may have heard, squirting is real. In fact, it’s not just real, it’s actually pretty common. Yet it’s a sex act of mythical reputation and a hotly debated topic.
Everyone has something to say about squirting, whether it’s to tell you that it’s really pee (it’s not) or that it always shoots out like a fountain (it doesn’t). As our limited understanding of vulva bodies grows, everyone wants to know how to squirt or how to make their partner squirt.
And although squirting has been around for a long, long time—think 300BC when it was depicted in the West by Aristotle—we still don’t know a lot about it. So, grab your towel because we’re taking a deep dive into the wonderful, wet world of squirting.
Rather watch than read?
Can everyone squirt?
It depends who you ask.
The prevalence of squirting remains unknown as no large-scale scientific study has ever been carried out, and the studies that do exist have conflicting results when it comes to this question.
Some recent studies estimate that 10-54% of women can squirt. However some sex educators such as NYU sexuality professor Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, and sex educator (and world record holder for the most squirt volume) Lola Jean, believe that all vulva bodies have the capability of squirting.
“Every person with a vulva can squirt if they have a strong enough pelvic floor and relationship with their vagina.” — Lola Jean
However, many people with vulvas may unknowingly hold back from squirting. This can be due to the stigma attached to it, because the sensation can be confused with needing to pee, or simply because they haven’t been stimulated in a way that works for them.
What is squirt?
Squirting is defined as an emission of fluid before or during orgasm in a person with a vulva.
The fluid comes from the female paraurethral glands, also known as the Skene’s glands or female prostate, and is expelled through the urethra. The Skene’s glands, g-spot, and urethral sponge are all located in roughly the same area of the vagina. So, if you stimulate one of them it’s likely that you will stimulate all of them. This is why many people squirt during g-spot stimulation.
Squirt, the liquid released during squirting, is usually as clear as water, colorless and odorless. It can range in volume from approximately 0.3ml to more than 150ml, according to a 2013 study.
That means it can be just a few drops or enough to soak your sheets.
Is squirt pee?
The question on everybody’s lips…
Say it loud, say it clear; squirt ain’t pee!
It’s a common misconception that squirting is actually peeing. If you’ve squirted yourself, you will know that squirt is usually clear and does not smell or taste like urine. Yet, for some reason society is still plagued by this question.
In 2015, an extremely small study of just seven (yep, seven!) participants claimed that squirt was in fact urine, but the research was later heavily criticized by sexuality professionals and people who squirt themselves.
Other research shows that squirt contains urea and creatinine, components that are found in urine, but at very low levels. As well as prostate-specific antigen (PSA) which is not found in urine but is found in male ejaculation.
Aside from what researchers say, anecdotal evidence suggests that squirt is not pee. Many people can squirt copious amounts and still need to pee afterwards. Or pee right before sex and still squirt. Besides that, have you ever tried to pee whilst being extremely aroused? It’s pretty darn hard.
We say, if it feels good just do it. And if it has a little bit of pee in it? Who cares!
How squirting feels
Just like an orgasm, squirting feels different to everyone. Some people say it’s an intense pleasurable experience. Others say it feels like a big release that can be quite draining – both literally and emotionally.
One study found that participants referred to squirting most commonly with words of amazement, feeling proud, and a sense that they were in possession of a superpower. Marvel, are you listening?
Is squirting an orgasm?
Squirting itself is not an orgasm but it can happen at the same time, or just before, an orgasm.
Why do women squirt
Because it feels good? To be honest, no one knows the answer to this but we don’t need any reason other than it feels great.
However, some scientists have suggested that people with vulvas squirt to flush harmful bacteria out of the vagina that may have made their way up there during sex. Kinda like how you pee after sex to avoid getting a painful UTI, but this way feels a lot better.
A note on squirting in porn
As we know by now, most mainstream porn is not reflective of sex in real life. Squirting in porn is no different, and it’s not always reflective of squirting in real life.
There’s an interesting paradox in the way that squirting is represented in porn. On the one hand, it’s seen as obvious evidence of vulva pleasure and is sometimes used in a dramatic way on camera to create arousal in the viewer, often by depicting huge waterfalls of squirt.
These displays, often staged, have created unrealistic expectations for women to perform during sex and push out a Niagara Falls of squirt on demand. Squirting in porn also happens pretty quickly, thanks to video editing, but in real life it can take much longer.
Although there is no research on exactly how long it can take for someone to squirt, a 2018 study found that once genital stimulation began, women experienced an orgasm in an average of 14 minutes during partnered sex. However, the average time someone spends on Pornhub is 9 minutes 20 seconds and when watching a squirting movie this time drops to 7 minutes 53 seconds.
The time it takes to squirt will be different for everyone and will depend on different factors from how aroused you are, to if you’ve squirted before.
Aside from unrealistic portrayals of squirting, in 2014 the UK banned porn being produced in the UK from showing squirting in movies, claiming that the fluid is really urine (yep, this again). They justified the ban on the basis that urine is unsterile and could cause an infection if a performer had an open wound . This ban only adds to the shame and embarrassment some squirters already feel about their body’s natural processes.
Luckily for you, there are some porn producers and performers dedicated to showing real depictions of squirting in an educational and erotic setting. Check out our very own ‘How to Squirt’ eduporn by Ela Darling right here on afterglow to get an up close and personal look at how it’s done.
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How to squirt
Now we’re getting to the fun stuff… How do you squirt?
We believe that all vulva bodies are different, and so we don’t want to prescribe just one method for squirting. What may work for one person, may not work for another so it’s best to try out a few techniques and see what works for you.
Some people swear by internal g-spot stimulation, some need a vibrator on their clitoris, and others need both happening at the same time. Whatever gets you going, with time and patience you’ll find your own sweet spot.
As with all new sexual activities, it’s usually a good idea to try it by yourself before doing it with a partner. Masturbation is the perfect way to learn about your likes and dislikes. This way you can find what feels good to you and what needs to happen to have a squirt to remember.
First, relax & prepare your space
Before you start, drink a large glass of water to ensure you are hydrated. If you’re worried about peeing, go to the loo before starting so that you can feel relaxed. And if you’re worried about making a mess, lay down some towels or water resistant throws.
You could also get in the bathtub or shower if that puts your mind at ease.
Light some candles, put on some sexy music and set the mood just like you would for a hot date. You are your own hot date today.
Then, arouse yourself
No matter how you squirt, the most important thing is that you are super turned on. So before trying anything, spend a nice amount of time getting yourself in the mood.
Whether it’s watching some ethical porn that you like or using your imagination to think about your favorite sex fantasy, take your time to set the scene. Caress your body, give yourself a massage, play with your nipples and other erogenous zones, gently stroke your inner thighs and work your way slowly to your vulva. There’s no rushing here. Take your time to tease and seduce yourself.
Set an intention and dedicate this time to your pleasure. No goals, no expectations, this is about following what feels good.
As you become more aroused your vulva will fill with blood and start to swell. Just like penises get an erection, people with vulvas often experience engorgement of the clitoris when they’re turned on. This clit erection makes it easier to find and stimulate the g-spot and your urethral sponge will swell too, so getting turned on is a great way to get prepared for squirting.
Now, it’s your time to play around and choose the type of stimulation that works for you…
How to make yourself squirt with your fingers
The most common way to squirt is through stimulation of the g-spot, now more widely considered to be more of a “g-zone”. The Skene’s glands — where the squirt comes from — are located within the urethral sponge, and are found in this zone.
This sensitive area is generally located an inch or two inside the front wall of your vagina towards the belly button. However, everyone’s anatomy is different so yours may be slightly higher or lower.
To reach your g-spot, you can try sitting upright, laying down with a pillow under your butt, or kneeling whilst leaning forward. It can be quite hard to reach so you’ll need to play around with different positions to find what’s comfortable for you.
Once you’re feeling aroused and ready for penetration, add some lube to one or two fingers and gently insert them.
Feel along the stomach-side wall of your vagina until you feel a slightly bumpy or spongy textured area. It should feel different to the other tissue. Once you find it, start to add pressure to it and see how it feels.
Does it feel good? Some people find that it can be very sensitive and prefer a lighter touch whilst others need a firmer touch. Experiment with different techniques. Use two fingers in a “come hither” motion, gently press on it like a button, or rotate your fingers in circles whilst applying pressure.
It’s important to note that not everyone enjoys this type of stimulation and there is no ‘one size fits all’ method. For some people it can be a sensitive and even painful area. So, if this doesn’t feel good to you, no problem!
How to make yourself squirt with toys
There are hundreds of sex toys that can help you squirt and only you will know which is right for you.
The added benefit of using toys is that you can stimulate your g-zone and your clitoris at the same time. If you’re using a metal or glass wand, try inserting it and rocking it against the front wall of your vagina whilst using your spare hand to rub your clit.
Some of our favorite toys for squirting are the stainless steel njoy Pure Wand that is perfectly shaped for g-spot stimulation and the Satisfyer Mr. Rabbit Vibrator that allows for dual g-spot and clitoral stimulation if you’re more of a 2 for 1 person.
How to make yourself squirt without penetration
Despite what most online advice suggests, it is totally possible to squirt without penetration. Some people prefer to squirt from external clitoral stimulation alone.
As you know by now, the clit is more than the small glans you can see from your vulva. That is just the tip of the iceberg.
If you didn’t know this, google “structure of a clitoris” ‘cause you got some catching up to do.
Most of the clitoris is hidden inside your vagina and its legs wrap around your vaginal opening. How sensitive these nerve endings are will be different for everyone, but some people find it very pleasurable to stroke their labia to access different parts of the clitoris.
If this feels good you may notice that your labia swells to two or three times bigger than usual. Keep stroking, pay attention to which areas feel better than others, test different pressures, and add a vibrator if you want to.
Build up the pressure & release
When you find a technique that feels good for you, lean into it and let the pressure and arousal start to build. Keep the same rhythm going and be patient.
If you feel like you start needing to pee, that’s a good sign. The hardest part now is to not tense your pelvic floor muscles but instead bear down on them and push. This is often the final stage that many people don’t cross when it comes to squirting.
Often, when we are close to climax, our breath quickens, our body tenses, and our pelvic floor muscles contract. When trying to squirt, you should try to take long deep breaths and keep the body relaxed. Instead of clenching your pelvic floor muscles as you would when you need to hold in pee, you should push out. Hold this push for a few seconds, and if nothing happens then continue what you were doing before.
If this isn’t working for you, check in with yourself. Are you aroused enough? If not, add a toy to the mix or spend some more time really getting yourself turned on without chasing the end goal.
Can you control your pelvic floor muscles? If you’re unable to bear down on these muscles then try to incorporate some pelvic floor exercises into your daily routine to start strengthening them. Our pelvic floor muscles are the key to better sex and research has shown that people with stronger pelvic floor muscles experience stronger orgasms.
Are you still holding back? If yes, consider how you can relax yourself further. Whether it’s changing your environment or doing some deep breathing exercises.
If you have squirted, you might feel a warm trickle of fluid down your vulva or you might experience a more powerful burst of fluid. Squirting looks different for everyone.
How to make a woman squirt
First things first, don’t put any pressure on your partner to squirt. They should not feel inadequate or like they have let you down if they can’t squirt.
The same things that we recommended for solo play, applies to partner play. Try a finger or two, a toy, external stimulation… or anything else that feels good to your partner.
Some people also squirt from oral sex & fingering. Try using your tongue on their clitoris and vulva whilst stimulating their g-spot at the same time with your fingers or a toy.
Check in with them about what feels good, and when you find the sweet spot stick with it. Perhaps communication won’t be the only thing that’s flowing.
How to squirt during sex
Manual hand stimulation is more likely to make your partner squirt but if you would like to try with penetrative sex with a penis or strap-on, you should try sex positions that involve shallow penetration and g-spot stimulation.
Doggy style and spooning are good positions for this. Your partner can touch their clitoris or hold a vibrator there at the same time.
Extra tips for squirting
Lay down a towel or get in the bath. Some people hinder their ability to squirt because they associate the feeling with needing to pee. If you’re worried about this, lay down a towel or get in the bathtub.
Don’t focus on squirting as the end goal. Focusing too much on squirting will ultimately make it less enjoyable and harder to reach.
Try different positions. This is especially important for g-spot stimulation, you don’t want to feel yourself getting close and then have to stop because you’re in an uncomfortable position.
Don’t be afraid to experiment. If it feels good, do it. Follow your pleasure and don’t be afraid to try new things.
How to know if you’ve squirted
It should be pretty clear if you’ve squirted or not. Aside from checking for a wet patch, you will most likely notice if you felt a release, a change of sensation, or a trickle of warm fluid.
If you can’t squirt
If you can’t squirt there is nothing wrong with you!
Some people squirt and some people can’t; some people try to squirt for 20 years and then squirt for the first time when they’re in their 50s; and some people squirt by accident without even trying. However you experience pleasure is valid.
There is a lot of pressure on women to squirt and perform sexual acrobats to please their partner. But squirting is not a superior type of orgasm and should not be the goal of sex or masturbation.
Enjoy the pleasure and think of your squirting journey as a way to learn more about your body. Squirting is just one of many amazing things our vulvas can do, if it’s not happening for you then don’t sweat it.
Ready to learn from the squirting pro?
Sign up for afterglow to watch Ela Darling take all of this advice and put it into action in her eduporn ‘How to Squirt’.
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