Written by: Mafer Zaldivar

What did you think of “It’s No Choke,” the latest installment from the “A Modern Man’s Guide to Fantasy” series?

In a world that prioritizes fantasy and pleasure, Calita Fire and Jesús Reyes show us a sexy and inviting experience that explores choking in a safe and comfortable environment. They are fun, sexy, and make you feel hot while giggling and kicking your feet.

What You Can Learn From It

• Practicing kink safely enhances the experience.
• Asking for what you want and consent make dirty talk work. 
• Moans are great non-verbal cues to show excitement and are incredibly sexy.
• Eye contact leads to a more intimate experience.
• Laughing through some of the silly moments during sex is hot and connects you with your partner.
  
  

Key Themes

• Establish rules and boundaries when trying new things
• Asking for what you want is part of showing consent
• Teamwork makes the dream work
• Funny moments are also sexy
  
  
  

Establish rules and boundaries when trying new things

The film opens with an explanation of the best way to choke someone as part of sex. Slightly tightening the side of your partner’s throat, letting them know they can tap once for a release, or twice to stop it altogether, helps your partner know they are still in control. Even if it doesn’t seem like it.

When you are choking someone, put your finger and your thumb right under their jawline by their ears. Applying slight pressure there causes their breath to hitch. Applying pressure to their windpipe under their chin would cause them to feel like they are choking and make it hard to breathe. Also, remind your partner that they can tap you at any point to adjust pressure or release. Once that is established, you can play with different levels of intensity.

It is all about creating a safe and comfortable environment where your partner can relax and let the sensations guide them. A relaxed partner can focus on their pleasure and yours. 

Later in the film, we see them go through a similar process when exploring anal. Jesús guides Calita during the experience, constantly checking in on her as he inserts his lubed fingers and then penis into her and makes sure she is relaxed and enjoying herself. He allows her to take the reins by having her move into him, instead of thrusting into her. Once she is comfortable, he then moves, and they can work together towards finding pleasure together.

Asking for what you want is part of showing consent

It is incredibly hot to hear your partner ask for what they want. Dirty talk includes sentences that start with “I love when you….” and “that feels so good.” Throughout the film, you can see they both ask for different positions, different speeds, and different intensities. This is not only a great way to make sure your pleasure is taken care of, but also a great way to show enthusiastic consent. When you are excitedly asking for what you need, your partner feels comfortable providing that for you. Opening conversations about different positions or actions allows either person to say whether or not they are comfortable with exploring that, or would prefer to slow down.

In one scene, Calita is sucking Jesús’s penis, and later asks, “Can you lick me as well?” You can see the excitement with which Jesús went down on her. Asking for what she wanted led to a really hot moment. 

We later see this again when Jesús asks if she would be comfortable with anal, and she mentions she would be excited to try. There is nothing hotter than that moment when you realise your partner is just as excited as you are to try something that will bring you both pleasure. 

Working together for each other’s pleasure

Throughout the film, they are working together for each other’s pleasure. It is not about how they can take something from the other; it is about what they can give each other to enhance the experience and be present. At one point, Calita says, “somos equipo,” which translates to “we are a team.” Sexual experiences work best when you feel connected to the other person. 

We see different moments of connection throughout the film when they maintain eye contact. In fact, research shows that eye contact can immediately enhance feelings of arousal. 

They are constantly reassuring each other, saying they are doing a great job and they feel so good. Non-verbal cues like moans and groans show how much they are enjoying themselves, but hearing them say how much they like a specific movement or pace is what really helps stay present. 

Another example of working together is how Calita touches herself while Jesús is inside her. The different sensations help both feel more pleasure, and she even mentions how wet and turned on she is throughout the experience. Working as a team and realizing they are both responsible for the experience helps them focus on the sensations instead of feeling pressure.

Funny moments are also sexy

There is one moment during the film that felt incredibly relatable. We see Calita is feeling a little uncomfortable, and she mentions there is a lot of air in her as Jesús is moving in and out during penetration. She takes a moment to laugh as she is queefing and then asks him to let some of the air out, around minute 20. Queefing happens when the vagina fills with air, and the sound can be caused by the constant moving from penetration. It is incredibly common, but in some cases, the sound can distract people or interrupt the flow of the experience. They take a second to giggle about it, he pulls out to release the air, and then they continue. 

This is a great demonstration of how funny moments during sex can lead to connection and can enhance the experience. Sex is about being relaxed and comfortable. When you feel comfortable with a partner, you can laugh and be yourself throughout the experience, and that is sexy. Taking each other too seriously can add unnecessary pressure instead of being flirty and fun.

Did You Notice

There is a lot of connection through kissing and eye contact; they are learning how to read each other’s body language. Throughout the film, they are also touching on different erogenous zones such as clit, nipples, butthole, and more. There is constant communication on what feels good, different positions they want to try, and making sure they are both comfortable. 

Fun Fact

Calita Fire answers a lot of questions about her work, the industry, and even her feelings on body hair on her TikTok.

Questions to Consider

• What rules can you establish at the beginning of a sexual experience to make it a safe and comfortable environment?
• What are some phrases you can take from the scenes that show enthusiastic consent?
• How can you practice asking for what you like?
• How often do you feel like laughing with a partner? Does that help you feel closer to them?
• Does maintaining eye contact during sex change the experience for you?