There is more than one way to have sex with a partner! Mutual masturbation is a partnered way to experience pleasure during times when your usual way to play isn’t on the menu (like during your period, an STI outbreak, or just out of personal preference…).

Without the need for reciprocity or tending to your partners’ pleasure, mutual masturbation allows every body to be the focus of the session. Because each individual is responsible for their own pleasure, it removes the pressure from play and ensures satisfaction for all. P.s. if you need a refresher on how to self-explore, read over this guide before you get started.

Of course, the reward doesn’t just stop at pleasure either! Mutual masturbation also allows you the opportunity to intimately observe your partner(s) dive into their self-pleasure ritual and learn exactly what makes them tick. Plus, the act of watching them bring themselves to orgasm is hot as fuck. Period. 

Ready to explore mutual masturbation? Drop the link to this article in your partner’s inbox, schedule a session, and follow these five simple steps. Try to take some mental notes during this time together, but we have a feeling your mind may be otherwise occupied with dirty thoughts dancing in your head…

Prefer to watch and learn, rather than read? 

Watch & learn from the experts in U Up? on afterglow. Adult performers Remi Amour and Mickey Mod show you exactly how digital mutual masturbation works with this FaceTime sex movie.  Their longing for skin on skin contact combined with slow, sensual movements, will leave you feeling like you’re another person joining in. 

As you watch the mutual masturbation video, pay attention to the following: 

• How they introduce dirty talk into their call
• How they use different types of play, like spanking, and not just masturbation 
• How communication works in mutual masturbation  
• How they finish the experience 

Then, try it for yourself… 

[button link=”https://xoafterglow.com/video/u-up” type=”big” color=”black” newwindow=”yes”] Watch U Up? on afterglow[/button]

5 steps to mutual masturbation… 

1. Set the scene

Create a space where you and your partner(s) feel the most comfortable to relax into pleasure together. Lower the lights, select a sensual playlist for the session, and help each other undress ~ stepping out of your daily responsibilities and leaving them on the floor with the rest of your clothing.

2. Get comfortable

Settle close on the bed or even within a nest of your plushest pillows. Inch towards each other so that your bodies are barely touching, feeling the warmth of their skin radiating against your own. With tension building, a mere brush of their skin will send electricity from your toes to the tip of your tongue. You can ease any nerves by gently grazing their inner thigh with your fingertips, massaging each other’s bodies, or indulging in soft, slow kisses.

3. Touch yourself

Begin to caress your own body now, focusing on the areas that bring you the most pleasure. Invite your partner to do the same. Take your time. Relish in each delicious moment. As each of you explore their own body, start to observe ~ noting where their fingers linger the longest, the type of touch that quickens their breath, or when a low moan escapes their lips. 

4. Turn up the heat

Now that things are warming up, try turning up the momentum. Elevate your pleasure by reaching for a toy or asking for some hands-on assistance ~ take turns giving explicit directions on what you want and where you want it. Add to your partner’s experience by whispering something filthy into their ear or holding their eye gaze as you climax. Maybe even draw out the session by nearing the edge of an orgasm only to back off, pacing with their pleasure, and finishing together.

5. Aftercare

Once each of you is satisfied with the session, transition out of the play space together. Curl up with your partner(s) in post-orgasmic bliss, wash them off in a hot, steamy shower, or simply offer them a cool drink of water. Whatever the ritual may be, aftercare is a tender way to end the erotic experience. 

Continued exploration…

Remember, pleasure is the measure of this exercise and mutual masturbation is completely customizable! Use this guide as a template for exploring mutual masturbation, adding and subtracting until you have an exercise that works for you and your partner(s). Mutual masturbation is yours for the designing and the pleasure potential is endless.

Want to know more? Read The Ultimate Guide to Porn for Couples.