The Ultimate Guide to Porn for Couples
We know that people––a lot of people––watch porn. A third of all internet traffic is porn after all.
But while watching adult films might seem like something to do alone, it’s also the perfect date night activity and can be a very erotic thing to engage in with your partner(s). Many couples swear by communal porn-watching to improve their sex lives and their relationships.
One study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that couples who watch pornography together report a positive association with sexual intimacy. When they increased their communal porn-watching, they also reported greater sexual intimacy.
Another study found consistent evidence that partners who watch pornography together report higher relationship and sexual satisfaction than partners who do not.
And if that wasn’t enough, a 2016 study found that women who watch porn with their partners are more sexually satisfied.
Where do we sign up?
But even though watching porn with your partner sounds great, it can bring up some challenges. How do you find the right porn for couples? What do you do whilst watching it? What if you and your partner(s) have different tastes in porn? How do you even bring up watching porn with your partner in the first place?
Scroll down for our full guide to watching porn with your partner(s). You’ll be reaping the rewards of communal porn-watching faster than it takes for the pizza delivery guy on Pornub to drop his pants.
What is porn for couples?
Porn for couples is pornography for people to watch with their partner(s). It doesn’t matter if you have one partner or many, porn for couples is made to be watched with people you care about.
But porn for couples is not a monolithic entity, it doesn’t look like one particular thing. It might feature real couples or strangers, be romantic, intimate, hard-core, group sex, or gang bangs. Basically whatever turns you and your partner on, can be great couples porn.
Is it normal for couples to watch porn together?
Yes, yes…. Yeeees! 😉
In fact, it’s not just normal, it’s pretty common. There is no harm in watching porn with your partner(s) and some studies report that 45% of couples have watched porn together. When you show your partner what you like through porn, they’ll feel more comfortable doing the same thing. You both might find yourselves pleasantly surprised by what you learn and the effect this has on your relationships.
Read more about watching porn in a relationship:
Is porn bad for relationships?
No, porn is not inherently ‘bad’ and it’s not bad for your relationships. In fact there are a lot of benefits to watching porn in your relationship. Watching ethical porn for couples with your partner can be a healthy part of your sex life together. The potential pitfall with porn for couples has less to do with the content itself, and more to do with your relationship and your approach to it.
Some couples struggle finding the right porn to watch together and problems can arise when partners compare themselves to what they see on screen. If you struggle with body confidence or are feeling insecure in your relationship, then you might not enjoy seeing your partner turned on by someone else, regardless of the fact that they are on screen or not. If this is the case for you, it can be helpful to have the conversation with your partner, look at ways you can address your challenges, and choose erotic content with care and consideration.
Remember, the point of watching porn together isn’t to make comparisons or copy what you see on screen, but to start conversations about what you each like or want to test out in bed.
Read more about porn and relationships:
The benefits of watching porn for couples
There are a huge amount of benefits that come from watching porn with your partner. Aside from the research showing that couples who watch pornography together have a stronger relationship and a more satisfying sex life, here are some of the other benefits:
- · It can serve as a jumping off point for more communication with your partner
- · You might discover new fantasies and things you want to try together
- · It can be a great tool for fantasy inspiration
- · It may increase arousal and lead to more partnered sex
- · It adds something new to your sexual repertoire to keep your sex life exciting
- · It can improve your communication during sex i.e. asking for what you want
- · It can help you get in the mood if you’re not feeling sexy
It can also just be hot with no additional reason, which is enough of a reason for us to say, “let’s do it”.
Read more about the benefits of porn for couples
How to watch porn with your partner
OK you’ve decided you want to watch porn with your partner but how do you do it exactly? Well, first you’ve got to talk about it
Before jumping straight into the porn conversation, make sure your sex life is already a regular topic of conversation. You don’t want to surprise your partner– who may have no idea that you even watch porn— if you’ve never spoken about porn before. Ease into it by talking about what you already enjoy about the sex you’re having. Tell them what you liked about it when you finish having sex.
Once that’s a comfortable topic for you, then you can lead into the porn conversation. Make sure you’re in neutral territory, you’re clothed, and sober. Don’t expect to have the conversation and then immediately start watching porn. And of course, don’t put any pressure on your partner to consent to watching porn with you.
- · “I read an article about watching porn with your partner and it made me interested in watching it with you. What are your thoughts on that?”
- · “I was thinking about watching some porn tonight, would you be interested in joining me?”
- · “You really turn me on and so does watching porn. It'd love to combine the two and see how hot we can make things”
Before starting the conversation it’s a good idea to take stock of any concerns or anxiety you might have about watching porn with your partner(s). Are you worried your partner will judge your choices? Do you want to watch something you’re not sure you’d actually want to try in real life? Take note of these concerns and bring them up with your partner when you have the conversation.
Read more about how to watch porn with your partner:
Where to watch porn for couples
Choosing what to watch can be a great communication exercise for you and your partner.
Porn is not a monolithic entity, there are different types of porn to suit every taste and desire, which means it’s super important to think carefully about what you want to see on screen.
It may be helpful for you to each sit down by yourselves and actively think about what you do and don’t want to watch. Once you have it clear in your mind, you can then share with each other and find the common themes.
Remember to be non-judgemental with your partner’s porn choices. Open conversations about why you or your partner watch porn, and the type of porn you’re interested in, rather than shaming or blaming each other, can help to build intimacy in a relationship.
You could also try making a yes/no/maybe list together. Grab a piece of paper and split it up into 3 columns labeled yes/no/maybe. Then, go through all of the different genres and types of porn you can think of, discuss them, and then assign them to a column together.
Once you know what you want to watch, it will be easier to find something to your taste rather than scrolling endlessly through pages of porn that you don’t want to see.
Read more and find the best porn for couples:
Real couples in porn
It’s not just the viewers of couples porn who are in relationships, there are multiple partnerships working in the adult industry together too. If you and your partner(s) would prefer to watch porn with real life couples, there are plenty of performers who make content with their loved one.