So what did you think of Lip Service?

Lip Service flips the narrative that we usually see in porn, where a man is usually the center of pleasure. Instead, it features a beautiful and confident woman who knows what she wants and gets it. She isn’t just a passive receiver. She directs the situation by communicating what she wants. She also is a giver when going down on him, but there’s never any doubt that she’s the one in control.

 

What you can learn from Lip Service:

    • Ask for what you want and keep it sexy
    • How to feel confident receiving
    • Some great cunnilingus moves
    • How to indulge your inner voyeur
    • How to have a pleasurable sexual experience without penetration

     

    Here are some themes covered in Lip Service you may have noticed:

    • Sexual communication 
    • Voyeurism
    • Cunniliguns 

     

    Sexual communication

    It can be challenging to ask for what you want in the bedroom. What if it kills the mood? What if our partner responds poorly?  What if we don’t even know what to ask for?  Avery gives us a role model of assertive, sexy communication.  Here are a few of her requests from her partner:

    “I want you go to down on me”

    “Can you make little circles with your tongue around my clit?”

    “I don’t want to come yet”

    “I want you to use your fingers”

    “I need your fingers in me”

    “Deeper”

    “Make yourself hard for me”

     

    While she isn’t shy about asking for what she wants, its not all asking and no giving. She also provides positive verbal and non-verbal feedback (sexy moans, eye contact, head nods) when Oliver gets it right. It’s a win all around. Rarely do we see any communication in porn beyond some initial set up, whereas in reality communication during sex is a necessity. Even with a long-term partner, we have different moods on different days and it’s ok that they can’t read our mind about what position we’re feeling atm.  

     

    Who’s behind the door?

    At first, we see a couple playfully flirting through a door. The camera holds on the door for a second, giving us the first indication that there may be somebody on the other side.  Many of the shots show the action as seen from the other side of the door. Is it a roommate? Will somebody else be entering the scene?

    One memorable scene has Avery sucking Oliver’s cock and then looking up at the voyeur, clearly indicating there’s someone there.

    Then at the end, Avery shuts the door on us and the film ends. Were we the voyeur this whole time? Is watching porn inherently voyeuristic? Do we all have a little side of us that enjoys watching?

     

    I want you to go down on me

    Avery feels no shame in receiving oral sex (something that many women still feel uncomfortable about); she is ready to indulge in it and enjoy it fully. The focus is less on him, but he isn’t “hurt” by this; he is comfortable with her indulgence.

     

    Want to work on getting comfortable with receiving oral sex? Try our guided partner cunnilingus exercise.

     

    In Lip Service we get a close up view of cunnilingus not commonly seen in mainstream porn. While there has been a rise in eating out shots (yay!), it’s often an exaggerated, tongue wide out, face shaking side to side viewpoint. In reality, eating out is all about nuance – and difficult to capture via camera!

     

    Did you notice?

    • Unlike traditional porn, there’s zero penetration!
    • The intense string music? While not the traditional “bow chica wow wow”, it’s not for everyone. It brings attention to how much music can influence our mood.


    Fun Fact – Avery and Oliver are a real-life couple! See more of them in this behind the scenes video.

     

    Questions to consider

    • Has watching Lip Service changed your perspective on communication? On receiving?
    • What’s something you want to ask for from your partner(s)? 
    • What are a few different ways you might say it? How do you think each option might be received differently?
    • Is there something you wished you’d spoken up and said with a previous partner(s)?
    • Do I like being a voyeur? What do I enjoy about it?
    • Would I like to be watched? Would this help my relationship? How does it feel to be watched?
    • Do you think it’s possible to be “authentic” in porn? What does it mean to be authentic? How much does it matter that Avery and Oliver are a real-life couple?