We get it. Lesbian porn is hot 🔥. But if you’re not having sex with women, you might feel confused about your porn preference.
Maybe you’re thinking…
“Am I a lesbian if I watch lesbian porn?”
“What does this mean?”
“Would my male partner be upset if he knew how much I like lesbian porn?”
You’re not alone. Both in your porn preferences and in your questions.
So let’s tackle them together.
Am I a lesbian if I like to watch lesbian porn?
The short answer is no. Just because you like watching lesbian porn doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian.
Your porn preferences don’t define your sexuality. No one and nothing can define your sexuality except for you.
In fact, what category of porn you watch and/or who you enjoy having sex doesn’t mean ANYTHING about you. It’s not attached to your identity as a human unless you want it to be.
Your sexual exploration (through porn and IRL) will help you to better understand yourself and allow you to discover more desires, fantasies and pleasure. It’s a beautiful opportunity, but it doesn’t define who you are. Remember that your sexual preferences and discoveries are uniquely yours. They don’t have to be shared with anyone or labeled if you don’t want them to be.
Maybe you do want to explore with women… maybe you don’t. You’re the only person who can answer that question. But watching lesbian porn certainly doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian.
So if you’re not a lesbian, what does it mean?
It means you like SOMETHING about lesbian porn, or likely, many things.
Maybe you like the way the actors interact with each other.
Maybe you like the way they are having sex or giving each other pleasure.
Maybe you like the outfits.
Maybe you like the vibe.
Maybe you like the story.
Maybe you like the feeling of watching something that feels taboo.
Lesbian porn is the most commonly watched porn category for women. ALL women. Not all of those women, or even most of them, are lesbians or identify as queer. But there’s obviously a reason so many women are watching lesbian porn… so what is it?
Why do straight women watch lesbian porn?
1. Lesbian porn is produced with female pleasure in mind compared to most heterosexual porn.
Have you ever watched traditional mainstream heterosexual porn? It can be SAVAGE. Most of the time, heterosexual porn is geared toward men’s pleasure and doesn’t focus much on women’s pleasure.
Around 75% of women do not orgasm from penetration alone, so watching a porn video that focuses on penetration is not going to do it for most women.
Lesbian porn features more pussy licking, fingering, scissoring, and other acts that give the vulva and clitoris well-deserved attention.
These activities may be considered “foreplay” in heterosexual porn and are often skimmed over – if they’re featured at all – as if women don’t need any warm up before taking a massive cock.
So, obviously, women are drawn to porn that features ways they experience the most pleasure.
2. There are 2 or more women in lesbian porn, which means more opportunity to picture yourself in the video.
Whether you get more turned on by giving or receiving in sex, both are available to you at all times in lesbian porn. In heterosexual porn, you can only picture yourself in one of the roles, but in lesbian porn, it’s 2 for 1. That’s a hot deal if you ask us 🔥
3. Lesbian porn is generally more sensual and intimate, which is the kind of sex most women want to be having.
In Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, Emily Nagoski talks about types of desire. She mentions that the vast majority of women, 85%, do not experience spontaneous desire (75% of men experience spontaneous desire). Spontaneous sexual desire is exactly what it sounds like. It shows up instantly, with or without stimulation.
Most women need romance, softness, intimacy, and/or sensual stimulation to feel aroused and excited to play ✨.
That doesn’t exist in most heterosexual porn, but it almost always exists in lesbian porn.
Each of these points individually (never mind together) explain why women enjoy lesbian porn more than heterosexual porn, regardless of their sexuality.
Let’s touch on the concept of fantasies
Fantasies can be just that, fantasies. They exist in your mind and get you aroused, but they don’t necessarily need to be played out IRL. They certainly can be, but it’s normal to have fantasies you don’t actually want to act out IRL.
Porn can be used as a tool to tap into your fantasies. Lesbian sex may be one of those fantasies for you, and there’s nothing wrong with that – in fact, if you feel it’s a bit taboo, that may be a source of turn on to explore for yourself as well 😏.
Porn is designed to titillate, not necessarily replicate. Let yourself indulge without judgment.
How can I share my lesbian porn preference with my male partner in a way that feels safe?
If you love watching lesbian porn, but you don’t have a desire to explore with women IRL, think about what it is you really get turned on by when you watch lesbian porn…
✨Is it the sensuality and abundance of sensations that are activated in lesbian porn?
🍒Is there an aspect of how women touch each other that looks like the sex you want to be having with your partner?
💦Is there a way women eat pussy that you would LOVE to receive from your man?
❤️Is there a way sex is initiated by women or a certain element of slowness that you want to have more of in your sex life?
🔥Is it the taboo nature you’re turned on by? Maybe you want to explore more taboo desires IRL.
Explore your turn on. Get curious about what it is you’re desiring more of in sex or the aspects of lesbian porn that make it SO delicious and juicy for you 💦
Talk to your partner about it from THAT perspective. Tell him what it is you’re wanting more of… maybe even show your partner what that looks like with the help of afterglow’s lesbian porn collection.
Lesbian porn is such a gift to the world of sexual exploration and female pleasure for all the afore mentioned reasons. Let yourself explore it and enjoy it without making it mean anything about you. Remember, your pleasure is yours alone, and it doesn’t define your sexuality or who you are as a human. You are perfect, love. And every time you experience pleasure or climax, that’s something to be celebrated. And if you ask us, lesbian porn is so good, we think it should be featured in every woman’s porn collection.
About Kayla Yoder
Kayla Yoder is a pleasure instigator and transformational leader who helps men and women break out of their comfort zone in order to experience more play, pleasure & passion. Through speaking, writing and experiences, Kayla empowers people to live their lives one FUCK YES to the next.
60% of women are dissatisfied with their sex lives. We’re on a mission to change that.
What if you didn’t have to search to find a body that looks like yours, a sex act that turns you on, or a guided exercise that helps you tell your partner exactly what you’ve been craving?
What if YOUR pleasure came first?