Having Sex on your Period: the Ultimate Guide
Having sex on your period can be safe, hot, and doesn’t need to ruin your (or a partner’s) sheets. Next time you’re bleeding, instead of canceling your sexy time plans, make a few adjustments and enjoy them anyways.
I’m Sulema Vasquez, a Berlin-based ethical adult performer. The majority of films I’m in were shot while I was on my period. I’ve learned lots of tips and tricks for period sex over the years. Now, I’m sharing them with you.
More of a visual learner? Check out How to Have Sex on Your Period — an afterglow original eduporn — to see how it’s done.
First thing’s first: can you have sex on your period?
Short answer: yes. Long answer: having sex on your period can be sexy, fun, and safe. There are also things you should talk about with your partner before you have period sex (risk of STI transmission, comfort levels, and pregnancy risk, for example), just like you would any other time you have sex.
How to have period sex
Hygiene is an essential pre-care element of all sex, but especially period sex.
Some STIs, like HIV and Hepatitis, can be transmitted more easily when you’re on your period because they’re transmitted through blood. And yes, pregnancy is still possible when you’re bleeding. Take a moment to chat with your partner(s) about the last time you were tested, and talk about barrier methods like condoms, dental dams, and gloves.
Make sure to wash your hands and trim your fingernails, and encourage your partner(s) to do the same. This is a simple way to prevent infections and cuts.
If you or your partner has artificial nails, you might want to wear disposable gloves or use a small brush with antibacterial soap to clean underneath them. Bacteria can wedge in the crevices between the artificial nail and the real nail.
Oral hygiene is also highly recommended. (Yes, it is possible to have oral sex on your period.) I’ll get into that in a minute. If you plan to have oral sex or receive any type of penetration on your period, it’s best to shower first.
2. Best tools for having sex on your period
My favorite tool and industry trick for having period sex without any visible blood is the sponge. The sponge is inserted into the vaginal canal with the help of a little bit of lubrication (water based or silicone based lube are best and safest to use with condoms).
The sponge absorbs the blood and allows for hours of penetration and oral sex. You can buy them at most drug stores that sell period products, or you can find them online.
The only disadvantage to the sponge is that it can be tricky to get out, especially after enjoying deep penetration. If you are squeamish about sticking a finger into your vaginal canal and pulling the sponge down, it’s probably not a good option for you.
Another one of my favorite options, especially when I’m not performing, is using a tampon and having anal sex. Using a tampon eliminates blood and still allows me to enjoy recieving oral sex, clitoral stimulation, and anal.
Sometimes I’m in the mood to be free. When I don’t want to use any type of device to collect the blood, I period proof my bed with disposable changing mats or a liquid proof mattress protector and designated period sex sheets. If you’re not a heavy bleeder, a folded towel makes for a good option. Unfortunately, that has never been enough protection for me.
When I’m not craving penetration, I wear pads or my menstrual product of choice. Rubbing and lots of kissing with or without adding an external vibrator can be very exciting, especially if I’m feeling tired. When I don’t have the energy to period proof my mattress or other surfaces, or when I don’t feel like cleaning up a mess, I opt for pads and no penetration.
The classic: shower sex
This is one of my period sex go-tos, and makes for easy clean up.
Hot tip: No one told me until my later 20’s that shower sex can be made 10 times better by adding lube. Lube makes shower sex heavenly and it makes penetration effortless. Leave a small bottle of lube next to the shampoo, and thank me later.
3. Tips for talking with your partner about period sex
People often ask if it’s appropriate to disclose to their partner(s) that they’re on their period before getting intimate.
I believe the conversation is important. People come from different backgrounds, and blood can be triggering, uncomfortable, a total turn on, or even a fetish for some.
In the attempt to prevent any surprises, I communicate directly and clearly. I share that I’m on my period unless I don’t plan to have an interaction where I’ll be removing my underwear. This gives me an idea of what my partner’s desires and expectations are. Plus, it gives me the chance to communicate my needs, desires and expectations.
If you’re menstruating, it’s important to share your desires — especially when it comes to penetration. In my experience, unless I’m shooting porn, people don’t tend to assume that I want to be penetrated on my period, even though sometimes, I do. So I usually make suggestions.
Here are a few examples of things I say to my partner(s), depending on how I feel:
“Hey, my cramps are pretty bad tonight. I don’t want to be penetrated vaginally, but I’d really love if we could have anal sex with lots of lube and use my toy to hit my clit. Would that be okay for you?”
“Hey, I’m on the last two days of my period. Do you mind if we don’t use your strap on tonight? I’m thinking just hands with rubbing, but no penetration.”
“Last time I was on my period and having bad cramps, I found it very helpful to be penetrated. It really relieved the pain. I am still bleeding quite a bit. Would you mind?”
Remember, it’s always okay to change your mind. Sometimes menstrual cycles (and feelings) can be unpredictable. It’s okay to be honest about how you feel, whether you’re in the mood or not.
“I am really not feeling well. Would you be alright with just holding me and watching a movie?”
4. Aftercare tips for period sex
- Stay hydrated and make sure you don’t forget to go pee! Whether you’re by yourself or with multiple partners, peeing after sexual activity helps to prevent UTIs.
- If you use any sort of device during sex — a sponge, tampon, or pad — it’s best to remove it and use a fresh one after peeing.
- Don’t forget to clean off your toys. Period blood can dry with a very unique smell, so it’s best to clean up right away.
- Throw your sheets or towels with blood on them into a cold water wash with mild detergent. The faster you get them in water the less likely they are to stain, so if you don’t have time to wash them, at least get the sheets in water. You can also designate special sheets for period sex that you don’t mind getting stained.
Need inspiration? Watch period sex porn
Looking for ideas to spice up your period sex? Period sex porn can be an excellent place to start. It can also help you feel more confident about having sex on your period.
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About the author
Sulema Vasquez is a queer, sex positive, feminist, Berlin-based ethical adult performer and heath care worker. She has a passion for empowering people to take responsibility over, and exploring their sexuality. Besides making porn, Sulema loves supporting human rights, furthering her health education studies, and analog photography.