What turns you on?

Some things may come to mind easily.

The types of porn you enjoy, types of touch you like to receive, certain words, clothes, smells or tastes. But how can you go deeper? How can you get juicier? How can you set up your day-to-day so that your whole life is one big, fucking turn on?

Eroticisms come in many shapes and forms. Anything can be transformed from mundane to erotic, with a little imagination.

So how can you discover your own hidden turn-ons? One way is through erotic mindfulness…

What is erotic mindfulness?

Erotic midfulness is when you bring more awareness to erotic sensations happening in the moment. This technique is used during sexual experiences, but it can also be used to bring more sexy energy to the more ‘boring’ parts of your everyday life.

By bringing more awareness to the sexual potential of mundane activities, you not only keep that sexual energy bubbling at the surface but you might also find some fun new turn-ons in the process.

How to practice erotic mindfulness

Mindfulness is a bit of a buzzword, but all it really means is bringing more awareness to the present moment and how your body is feeling in that moment. 

When you use mindfulness during sex, it allows you to let go of the mental overwhelm of worrying about what your body looks like or what your partner may be thinking or whether or not you taste good and to just BE HERE NOW. 

It’s a really transformative practice to bring into the bedroom, but you can also use it in your day-to-day.

Discovering erotic mindfulness in your every day

Adding erotic mindfulness to your everyday routine might feel awkward or silly at first, but it helps you to tap into the most sexual version of yourself. It’s a playful way to let your sensuality make all the decisions and see where the day takes you. The point is to infuse eroticism into each, seemingly mundane, moment of your day.

For example, choosing what to wear. 

What types of material does your most sexual self want to feel on their skin? What outfits makes you feel powerful and sensual at the same time?

When you sip your coffee, how can you make that a sexual experience? 

Slow down. Notice the heaviness of the mug in your hand. The aroma of the coffee. The heat emanating from the cup. The feeling of the liquid at your lips.

Taking your time is the most integral part of mindfulness. Slowing down allows you to process each step. It helps you to tap into what you like or dislike about each moment and it adds this extra layer of eroticism. There’s something so sexy about taking your time.

Try to use erotic mindfulness throughout your entire day. How can unlocking your car be sexy? How can signing your name on a form be sexy? How can entering your phone passcode be sexy?

I know, I know –  it sounds a little ridiculous.

It’s not about turning mundane acts into fetishes (unless that comes up for you, then absolutely go for it). But giving yourself space to find the sexiness in every situation can let you know what you find sexy.

Is it the slowness? Is it assertiveness? Maybe the buckle on your jacket reminds you how much you enjoy handcuffs. Maybe the sensual way you peel an orange inspires you to try food play.

Erotic mindfulness is an exploration into your personal sexual nature 

Even if nothing in particular comes up for you, erotic mindfulness is a fun and safe way to explore your sexual energy. It can feel a little naughty to be sensually flipping the pages of a book in the lunchroom, while no one around you has any idea what’s going on in your brain.

Finding your everyday turnons through erotic mindfulness is your unique journey. Find what works for you and what doesn’t and make a list of everything that comes up. That list can help inform your boundaries, your curiosities and your turn-ons. 

The most important part of erotic mindfulness is to play and have fun. Let your sensuality guide you. You never know what might end up being an everyday turn-on.


About Jennifer Doan

Jennifer Doan is a Confidence Coach, writer and orgasmic activist. She is on a life-long mission  to help feminists own their sexual confidence by amplifying pleasure and giving less fucks. She believes virginity and gender are social constructs, sexuality is as fluid as her iced coffee and that EVERYONE deserves to feel empowered by sex.

60% of women are dissatisfied with their sex lives. We’re on a mission to change that.

What if you didn’t have to search to find a body that looks like yours, a sex act that turns you on, or a guided exercise that helps you tell your partner exactly what you’ve been craving?

What if YOUR pleasure came first?

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