Here are some themes covered in Menage Noire that you may have noticed:

The Intimacy of Real Couples

I loved seeing the real couple prioritize their friend’s pleasure just as much as their own, at least at first. I would have loved to see more than just King Noire cum, but our imaginations can fill in those sexy blanks. A Unicorn/Third is a real person. This means they have their own boundaries, desires, and needs that should be taken into account for the scene. They are not just a sex toy, unless that’s the experience they communicate they want to have. 

Voyeurism vs. Exhibitionism

You don’t have to be watched by a room full of strangers to be an exhibitionist. There is equal power in watching vs being watched. Switching between the two can add to the experience and shift the power dynamics in unexpected ways.

The Build Up

Like all play, sensation play releases a ton of chemicals that are important to understand, both to protect yourself and play responsibly. This includes the ability to temporarily handle more pain (and potentially more easily hurt yourself or others) as well as making you/your play partner(s) more sensitive to stimuli, etc.

Understanding the cocktail of play helps everyone have a better time:

• Norepinephrine makes you feel energetic and euphoric.
• Adrenaline, a part of creating the fight or flight stress response, decreases your ability to feel pain as well as increasing strength and performance. An easy way to really hurt yourself or others if not taken into consideration.
• Dopamine lights up our “pleasure pathway” and is commonly referred to as the Reward Chemical.
• Prolactin inhibits dopamine intake and majorly increases sensitivity. That feeling when something feels “too intense.”
• Melatonin is a calming hormone that can make you feel tired.
• Oxytocin is commonly known as The Love Hormone and creates a close bond with whomever you’re playing with, which is why it’s important to be intentional about the when, where, why, how, and with whom you do so.

Did you notice…

• The yin yang?
• How her nails matched her rhinestone choker and her stilettos? Gotta coordinate the bling. Clutch queen moves.
• How many tattoos King Noire has? If so, you were focusing on the wrong thing. This isn’t a “guess how many jelly beans are in the jar” holiday party raffle!
• The clock wasn’t always as midnight. Missionary isn’t the only position available when you’re laying face to face. Mix up the hands of the clock and go from parallel to perpen-dick-ular.
• He choked their friend only after she demonstrated choking herself. NOTE: seeing someone do something to themselves or their partner(s) doing something to/with them does not give you permission to do the same now or in the future without explicit consent coming directly from them and no one else. For the sake of our pleasure, let’s assume that this request/consent was negotiated before this scene and that’s why we got to see her choke herself first.

Questions to consider

• Do you think you could perform cunnilingus and fellatio at the same time?
  • Would you want to?
  • Who would you want to try it with?
• How important is your outfit choice when it comes to your capacity to experience pleasure?
• Do you enjoy sex more when there’s a genuine emotional connection or relationship history or does it not matter?
• Did you notice the use of sound as an arousal tool for the audience?
  • The sound of skin slapping against skin, sighs and groans, was not consistent throughout the film, but rather intermittently interjected to enhance pivotal moments.
  • How does sound enhance your pleasure and arousal, if at all?