by Ally Iseman

Add ‘ambidextrous’ (AmbiSextrous?) to the list of sex skills you’ll want to develop after watching this queergasmic fantasy come to life. Consensual power dynamics seamlessly switch and interplay in an erotic array of enthusiastic consent, safe casual sex, and squirting that results in tender hearted ecstasy. Double the fisting and triple the partners, become a voyeur watching our three beautiful dancers discover their shared rhythms in the suspended space of the nightclub. You’ll be fist bumping and humping to the beat in no time.

What You Can Learn

Group Fun – threesomes are an art form, it’s not just couple sex with a third person

Hook Ups – casual doesn’t have to be a synonym for meaningless

Voyeurism – monkey see, monkey doesn’t necessarily do

Key Themes

Enthusiastic Consent – What can it look, feel, and sound like?

Threesomes / Group Sex – How to navigate respectfully without leaving anyone out.

Power Dynamics – What it means to be a switch.

Foreplay and Fisting – The Do’s, Don’ts, and how to double up!

Non-Verbal Consent

The term “enthusiastic” is often used to describe how consent should be given, though not everyone expresses it to the same degree or understands enthusiasm in the same way. Because of this, I find “evident” or “explicit” to be more inclusive terms. While I would have loved to see explicit verbal consent, I thought the film did an excellent job of showcasing what non-verbal consent cues can look and feel like:

Our first character spots a couple they’re interested in and approaches across the dance floor. They stop just outside the couple’s bubble, without breaking their gaze, and don’t continue moving forward until one of the duo makes eye contact and opens up their body language. The couple then approaches the lead, not the other way around, bringing them in with a deep kiss. There is an evident invitation given and accepted, all without words.

The Consent Academy provides a wealth of resources on how to develop your consent literacy.

Foreplay is Your Friend 

Notice how no one was in a rush at any point, especially when it came to fisting. The importance of foreplay in preparing for this cannot be overstated. According to the National Institutes for Health (NIH), “Data suggest that 40% of women find ‘Anal Surfacing’ pleasurable: sexual touch by a finger, penis, or sex toy on and around the anus.”

Right from the Top (pun intended) they all let their bodies do the talking, enjoying the tension of the dance and letting it build between each of them. They used their movement as a way for everyone to be engaged with each other collectively. When our lead is dancing between the two partners, the back of their body is just as engaged and aroused as the front.

Casual Doesn’t Mean Careless

Just because it’s a hook up doesn’t mean you have to be thoughtless with each other. According to organizations like the CDC and Johns Hopkins Medicine, while there is no such thing as 100% “safe sex,” consent and safer sex practices are still tools we use to take care of each other and ourselves. Safety can be sensual.

Further into our threesome’s play time, the gloves came out. And there was no disruption of the pace, quite the opposite in fact. Every stage of preparation for penetration was a part of the seduction. Every tool for safer sex can actually be a piece of pleasure paraphernalia, if you choose to use it that way. 

The Art of the Threesome

When trying group fun for the first time, especially as a couple, it can be easy to slip back into old habits and prioritize “couple’s privilege.” This is seen when using the third person as a tool for the couple’s pleasure rather than recognizing them as a complete individual with their own needs, desires, and turn ons.

Did you notice all the points of connectivity throughout? Whenever two people were kissing, they had their hands caressing the third person. When one of them was experiencing pleasure with another, they held eye contact with the third who was also in physical contact with the other partner. This kept everyone engaged so that no one felt left out of the action at any point. Everyone’s pleasure was a priority, no one person was there purely in service of any other.

The Smooth Switch

From using their mouth to please their partner to having that partner cover that same mouth to prevent it from being used at all so they could focus on receiving, our Top in this scene was a wonderful example of the fun that can be had when switching up power dynamics. Before engaging in power dynamics like BDSM or D/s roles, it’s extremely important to discuss boundaries clearly. Switching things up without warning can be very triggering for some and quickly end the mood, whereas for others it can be a supreme turn on. And wouldn’t you rather the latter?

Did You Notice

• The first moment of non-verbal consent?
• When the first two on the mattress both looked up at the third before engaging with each other? As if to make sure they were coming and felt invited to engage.
• The very cute “is it my turn?” moment?

Fun Fact

The location was one of Iris Ives’ friends’ warehouses, and the people peeking through the curtain were their friends!

Questions to Consider

• Would you be able to recognize non-verbal consent in yourself or others?
  • How would you handle it if someone misunderstood your consent or lack thereof?
  • What about if you misunderstood someone else’s?
  • If you have a partner, in what ways have you shown non-verbal consent? 
• Did your attraction to any of the characters change when different articles of clothing came off revealing different body parts?
  • If so, was this just because of an internal story or self-imposed judgement in your head? You don’t need that. No one does.
• How do you make your partner(s) feel included and invited in group fun?
• Did you find any of the power play confusing? Enticing?