Dirty Talk as consent

The dialogue, ranging from commands and praise to expressions of desire and acknowledgment, demonstrates the crucial role of verbal communication in shaping the experience and understanding the desires and boundaries within the interaction. This scene contains tons of juicy examples of delicious verbal feedback, used both to direct the scene as well as enhance it. The dominant partners use praise (“Good girl”) and commands (“Let’s go”, “You want it, and “Stand up”). Then there’s an exchange of “Thank you”, indicating acknowledgment and potentially appreciation of actions. The question “How bad do you want it?” also suggests a degree of solicitation, albeit within the established power dynamic.

Group Fun

This scene delivers a delicious example of the full range of possibilities available in group play from “same room” dynamics – two couples playing with each other only and just watching the others – to the full interaction and swapping even crossing into energy transference and mutual compersion when everyone was playing together.

Compersion is often considered “the opposite of jealousy, but that’s not entirely accurate as you can experience both jealousy and compersion, sometimes even simultaneously. One does not negate the other. Compersion is called “empathetic joy” by Dr. Marie Thouin, the world’s foremost compersion researcher, and is the joy or pleasure you experience from your partner experiencing joy or pleasure with someone else. It is not necessarily romantic or sexual, think of the joy you experience when your bestie gets that job promotion, but compersion along with jealousy can cross into the erotic. Learn more about Erotic Compersion and Zelophilia (hot jealousy) in my uncensored live conversation with Dr. Thouin.

Changing the level of interaction among parties in a group scene significantly changes the energy. Just because everyone’s playing together in the same room or scene doesn’t mean everyone has to have the same level of interaction. These are the important elements to discuss before any group play, which I go into in detail on my YouTube channel in these two videos: How to Plan a Drama-Free Threesome (the important prep work) and How To Enjoy a Drama-Free Threesome (the play by play of the main event).

BDSM

This film clearly establishes a dom/sub dynamic where one person takes a dominant role, directing the actions of the “Good Girl”. Phrases like “Nothing you do is going to make me move” reinforce this power imbalance. Similarly, one of the doms explicitly states, “See how I control?”, again emphasizing control within the interaction. Negotiation and consent are also consistent throughout, which is not just an important but required element of this dynamic. While the dominant partner takes a clear lead, the continuous “How about that?,” “Do you like that?,” and “You want it?” suggests an element of checking in or offering a choice and implying a focus on the other’s pleasure through control. The repeated “Thank you” implies consent and appreciation for the actions taken. However, it is crucial to note that these are very short excerpts, and a very clear consent conversation is required before scenes like these that involve power play. Within consensual BDSM, this dynamic can be a source of intense pleasure, trust, and intimacy for all parties involved. Resources like the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) offer information on ethical and consensual practices within kink communities. It’s important to debunk the mainstream portrayal that often conflates BDSM with abuse; when practiced with communication, consent, and respect, it can actually be a healthy and fulfilling expression of sexuality. BDSM is a complex interplay of control and surrender. The dominant partner takes responsibility for directing the encounter, often setting the pace and dictating specific actions. This can be experienced as pleasurable for both individuals involved, depending on their desires and established boundaries. The use of terms like “Good girl” and direct commands underscores this power differential. However, it’s important to remember that power dynamics in consensual relationships are negotiated and agreed upon, especially in intense scenes, ahead of time.

The interplay of control and agency is also noteworthy. Even within a dominant/submissive dynamic, the submissive partner retains a degree of agency through their reactions, vocalizations, and the ability to communicate their limits. The “Ow” in response to a slap indicates a sensation that is being communicated, and the dominant partner acknowledges this (“You like that?”), showing a degree of responsiveness. The interaction, therefore, is a collaborative effort towards shared or individual pleasure within the agreed-upon dynamic. For a deeper understanding of agency within sexual interactions, concepts like enthusiastic or evident consent are essential, emphasizing a clear and affirmative “yes” or other affirmative sound or behavior rather than the absence of a “no”. I deep dive on the difference between Active (assuming a No unless told or shown otherwise) and Passive Consent (assuming a Yes unless told or shown otherwise) on my YouTube channel – Passport 2 Pleasure. One aspect that could have been explored further is the explicit negotiation and establishment of boundaries, which is a cornerstone of healthy BDSM relationships and would add a layer of “realness” often missing in sexual depictions. While the focus is on pleasure, showcasing the communication and trust that underpin such dynamics would be valuable.

Did You Notice – What’s a fun easter egg or something the viewer would have to watch keenly to catch. Give people a reason not to engage in typical skipping porn viewer behavior. Maybe it’s an important line or scene you want to highlight. 

• The synchronized oral? Did we just discover a new Olympic sport?
• The consistent check-ins from the doms? How many did you count? “Do you like that? How do you feel?”
• When the women checked in with each other with a, “how are you feeling?”
• He introduced his finger to her body externally first, by briefly running it along her labia, before internal vaginal penetration: a quick hello first is always best.
• The slap “energy transfers”? A fun thing to play with in group dynamics – do you interact only visually, audibly, or physically as well?
• When something unexpected happened during the shared cunnilingus? They didn’t let that stop or interrupt the action. They moved seamlessly into lactation play aka Erotic Lactation. Sexual arousal can sometimes trigger or increase milk production in women. This is because both sexual arousal and breastfeeding both involve the release of oxytocin, a hormone that plays a crucial role in milk being released from the breasts. Nipple stimulation during sex can also directly trigger lactation, sometimes leading to what is called galactorrhea, or unintended milk flow.

Questions to Consider

• How do the verbal cues and commands contribute to the overall experience of pleasure within this dynamic? How do you think more or less verbal interaction would affect your pleasure and why?
• In what ways does the submissive partner express their agency and desires, even within a clearly defined power imbalance?
• How does the explicit acknowledgment of physical sensations enhance or shape the intimate encounter?
• How does the sexual dynamic portrayed in this film parallel the overall understanding of consensual power play in intimate relationships?
• What can be inferred about the emotional connection between the individuals based solely on these brief interactions?
• How might non-verbal cues further illuminate the dynamics and experiences depicted?