We all know that keeping the excitement and intimacy alive in a long-term relationship can be a challenge. Over time, busy schedules and competing priorities can make spontaneous intimacy all but impossible. As much as we know that investing time into our sexual relationships is necessary, when you feel stuck in a rut it can be hard to know how to get out of it.

One way of mixing things up in the bedroom is to introduce some fun through sex challenges to try with your partner. By adding a playful and adventurous element to your sexual experiences, you can bring back that spark and reignite your passion for each other. 

The benefits of sex challenges

Sex challenges might sound silly but they can actually do wonders for your sex life. Here are just a few ways they can benefit you and your partner:

Add excitement and novelty to your sex life

If you’re feeling stuck in a sexual rut, sex challenges can be a great way to mix things up and add some spice. Trying new things and stepping outside of your comfort zone can be incredibly exhilarating and lead to a renewed sense of passion and intimacy.

Help you communicate better with your partner

Most sex challenges require open communication and a willingness to express your desires and boundaries. This can be a great opportunity to improve your communication skills and deepen your understanding of each other’s wants and needs.

Read next: Talking About Sex: A Guide to Sexual Communication 

Explore new fantasies

Sometimes it can be hard to express our deepest fantasies and desires, but sex games and challenges provide a safe and playful environment to explore these things with your partner. You may discover new things about yourself and your partner that you never knew before, and find new ways to connect and share intimacy.

Overall, they can be an incredibly fun and rewarding way to add some excitement and passion to your sex life. So don’t be afraid to get a little playful and explore new possibilities with your partner!

10 sex challenges to try with your partner 

When it comes to sex challenges, the possibilities are endless! Here are a few popular types to consider.

1. Nightly make out session 

Do nothing but kiss each other for a full 20-minutes every night before bed for a week. If you ask us, kissing is majorly underrated. According to science, locking lips causes a burst of oxytocin (the “love hormone”) which can elicit feelings of affection and attachment, making you feel closer to your partner. In fact, a study conducted in 2013 found that oxytocin plays a crucial role in helping men form strong bonds with their partners.

In a recent TikTok video, Vanessa Marin revealed that she and her husband share a nightly ritual of making out. According to her, this simple act of intimacy can reignite the spark in a relationship that may have faded over time. By doing this they want to show that intimacy is not just about sex.They intentionally build physical closeness by sharing deep, passionate kisses on a daily basis. By doing so, they aim to break the association between kissing and the end-goal of sex. This helps them establish healthy boundaries and foster a deeper physical connection that goes beyond sexual activity.

2. The 7-day sex challenge

The challenge is as simple as it sounds. Commit to having sex with your partner every day for an entire week and restore a sense of adventure to your relationship. At first, the idea of daily intimacy may seem daunting. But after just a week of committing to it, you’ll likely establish a new, sexier normal with your partner. Sex will once again become a top priority, and you’ll likely feel more connected and passionate than ever before. And remember, it doesn’t have to be penetrative sex, it can be foreplay, a sensual massage, or anything else that you and your partner consider to be sex.

3. The sensual massage challenge

Take turns giving each other full-body massages. Experiment with different types of touch, massage oils, candles, and anything else you want to create a relaxing and sensual atmosphere. There’s no need to have sex, this is just about making your partner feel good and worshiping their body. 

Want to be guided through this experience? Watch How to Give a Sensual Massage on afterglow. From what oil to use to how to hit the sweet spots just right, Daisy Ducati and Leya Falcon teach you how to give your partner a romantic massage.  

4. The fantasy jar 

Grab a jar or any empty vessel, write down at least ten fantasies each on small pieces of paper and put them in the jar. The fantasies should be things you want to try with your partner and can include anything from role play ideas to make out sessions. The key is to establish guidelines that both partners feel comfortable with. For example, if you’re monogamous, only write down fantasies that involve your partner. It’s important to ensure that both parties feel respected and can be honest without fear of judgment or backlash. 

Each week you can take turns pulling a piece of paper from the jar and fulfilling the fantasy written on it. You may decide to each take a couple of minutes to explain why a particular fantasy was added, and of course you or your partner can say no to any fantasy they don’t want to do. 

5. Get a sexy subscription box for couples  

We recently discovered Arya, and we can’t get enough. They believe that adult life is too grown up and are offering a monthly subscription to couples to help them play more in the bedroom. First, you and your partner will fill out a questionnaire to help their intimacy experts understand you as a couple. Then they’ll pair you with a “scene” which can be anything from a sensual massage to their sexy take on a truth or dare game. You’ll receive everything you need to enjoy your scene in a tailored Arya box sent to your house. 

Arya is not a one-time box, but rather a journey that couples progress through. The goal is to keep experiencing, keep learning new things with and about your partner and Arya, with their handpicked and specially curated scenes just for them. 

Sign up to Arya here 

6. The oral sex challenge

Put a timer on and take turns giving/receiving oral pleasure from your partner for 30 minutes without the goal or orgasm. This exercise allows you to fully relax into the experience of oral sex without any performance pressure. The giver can use the time to experiment with different positions, techniques, and even flavors to make the experience more enjoyable and exciting. And the receiver can use the time to relax into the pleasurable feelings that arise without having to think about reciprocating or moving onto another sexual activity. 

This challenge is about building sexual confidence and having fun. By focusing on enthusiasm and exploring new sensations, you can deepen your connection with your partner and enjoy the moment without any expectations. Keep in mind that the goal of this challenge is not to orgasm, but to enjoy the pleasure of giving, and make your partner feel good. So, take your time, experiment, and savor every moment of this intimate and pleasurable experience.

Want to be guided through this experience? Check out the Cunilingus: A Guided Partnered Exercise on afterglow and receive guidance that will help both the giver and receiver be more curious, creative, and playful to expand your realm of pleasure. There are no rules here so feel free to improvise.

Ready, set your timers for 30 mins, go… 

7. The naked challenge  

Imagine a cozy day in bed, playing a game or just cuddling with your partner. The twist? You’re both completely naked. Hold off on sex until the end of the day, teasing and tantalizing your bodies by feasting your eyes on what you want but not giving in completely. When the time finally comes to get down to it, the passion will be hotter and more intense than ever before!

8. The location challenge

Get creative and think outside of the bedroom. Research has shown that engaging in sexual activities outside of the bedroom can bring couples closer together and increase feelings of sexual empowerment. Sit down to make a list of all the places in your home where you haven’t yet had sex. From the kitchen counter to the laundry room, to the backyard or even the car, the options are endless.

Once you’ve got your list, take turns picking a new location each week to explore. The excitement of trying something new and the sense of adventure can help reignite the spark in your relationship and bring you closer together.

Fancy a romp alfresco? Get some inspiration by watching real life couple Stacy and Shane in the afterglow eduporn How to Have Sex Outdoors. From how to find the best spots to making sure you don’t get caught with your pants down, learn the tips then go and try it for yourself.

9. Hands free sex 

Yep, try having sex with your partner without using your hands. It might sound strange but it can actually be a really fun (and hot experience). There are so many other parts of our body that we can use instead of our hands. Use your mouth, tongue, feet, toys, nose – use whatever you want but not your hands. Get creative. 

10. The no-sex sex challenge 

By taking intercourse off the table and focusing on other sexual activities like kissing, oral sex, and hand stimulation, you can discover new ways to pleasure each other and build intimacy like never before. Plus, extended foreplay can lead to mind-blowing orgasms for both men and women – talk about a win-win situation!

Check out Lip Service on afterglow to see just how hot no-sex sex can be! Real life couple and adult performers Avery Black and Oliver Davis show what hot oral sex and successful sexual communication looks like between two lovers when there is no need to rush to penetration. This is a rare opportunity to witness an intimate connection in porn. 

Remember, the key to making these challenges fun and exciting is to communicate openly with your partner, respect each other’s boundaries, and keep things consensual.  

Tips for incorporating sex challenges in your relationship

If you’re interested in trying sex games and challenges with your partner but don’t know where to start, don’t worry! Here are some tips to help you introduce the idea and set boundaries to ensure everyone is comfortable.

  • Communicate openly: Before suggesting any sex game or challenge, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your desires and boundaries. Make sure you both feel comfortable and respected.


  • Keep it light and fun: Remember that sex games and challenges are meant to be enjoyable and lighthearted, not stressful or overwhelming. Don’t take it too seriously and enjoy the process of exploring new things together.


  • Respect each other’s boundaries: Setting boundaries is crucial when trying new sexual experiences. Make sure you both agree on the rules and limits beforehand to avoid any uncomfortable situations.


  • Don’t force it: If your partner is hesitant or not interested in sex games and challenges, don’t pressure them. Respect their decision and find other ways to add excitement to your sex life.


60% of women are dissatisfied with their sex lives. We’re on a mission to change that.

What if you didn’t have to search to find a body that looks like yours, a sex act that turns you on, or a guided exercise that helps you tell your partner exactly what you’ve been craving?

What if YOUR pleasure came first?