Your holiday sex guide is here… With spooky season in the rear-view mirror and the fall/winter holiday hustle fast approaching, many of us are planning trips back to the towns and homes we grew up in, and bringing along new or established partners.
As if sleeping in your childhood bedroom or the foldout couch in the den wasn’t awkward enough, the joyful parade of extended family and friends marching in to fill up every corner can make the lack of privacy and intimate relaxation overwhelming. Spending time with loved ones and sharing family traditions with your significant other are a must, but you need time to yourselves too!
afterglow knows sexual holidays, and that the best thing for relieving seasonal stress is nothing but a good old-fashioned orgasm, so we’ve compiled a helpful list of tips and tricks for getting naughty without turning the festivities into cringe-fests. We’ve also assessed how likely it is you’ll be discovered by a very uncomfortable third party. The holidays are all about being and doing good, but the risk of getting caught is a powerful aphrodisiac; you may just find that you enjoy the rush of being a little bit bad.
Use a friend’s place
The best part of visiting familiar places is reconnecting with old friends. If you have some exceptionally good friends who are still around (or maybe just someone who still owes you a favor), they might understand your need to connect with your lover in private. Reach out and see if there’s a spare room or guest house available to serve as your love nest away from home. Don’t forget to wash the sheets!
Risk Level: ☃️
Take advantage of an empty house
A multitude of holiday events take place outside one’s own household, and there’s bound to be a moment you can seize (or create) when everyone else is out. No one is suggesting you skip Grandma’s family dinner or the community lighting ceremony, but maybe it’s okay if you slip out of cousin David’s school concert early, or opt out of watching your great-aunt Linda mouthing words in the back row of her church choir yet again. If you “aren’t feeling well” and your partner stays behind to “take care of you”, no one needs to know exactly what you mean by that. Just make sure you’re very clear on what time everyone is set to roll back in.
Risk Level: ☃️☃️
Have a sexy holiday party quickie
This one’s for you budding exhibitionists and not-so-secret adrenaline junkies! Someone else’s house party can offer the perfect opportunity for you to get lost in the crowd and steal away to an empty bedroom or bathroom for some quick, dirty, sexy holiday fun. While intercourse may not be possible depending on your environment, there’s no wrong way to have enthusiastic consensual holiday sex. We’re sure you and your partner have been dreaming up all kinds of ways to pleasure each other from head to (mistle)toe. But please, steer clear of the bed with the coat pile!
Risk Level: ☃️☃️☃️☃️☃️
Go for a romantic drive
After dark, when everyone else is blissfully digesting their canapes or turkey and won’t feel like going out again, nobody should object to you and your honey taking the car out to look at local holiday decorations and displays. Once you’ve made your getaway, take your inspiration from the days you lived at home full-time and head for your hometown’s version of “Makeout Point”. The combination of twinkling lights, a starry winter sky, and a roomy backseat is surprisingly enticing for some holiday sex fun. Bring along some cozy blankets to protect your seats, and to keep you from being too exposed if you get caught.
Risk Level: ☃️☃️☃️
Sneak away during group viewing
When the rest of the family gathers around the flatscreen to watch the big game or the latest streaming musical, give your partner “The Look”, excuse yourselves a few minutes apart, and rendezvous someplace private for a different kind of play. Ideally your setting is on an opposite end of the house or different floor, but a closet or pantry will do in a pinch! Do this early in the show to avoid getting interrupted by someone’s snack or toilet break; AWKWARD.
Risk Level: ☃️☃️☃️☃️
Holiday sex — just do it
If you’ve tried everything and simply cannot get any alone time before bedtime, there are still measures you can take to get your freak on without embarrassing anyone. Waiting for the rest of the house to fall asleep and reducing noise can go a long way to ensure your privacy. If you can, check out your sleeping accommodations beforehand and do a “noise test”: sit or lie on the bed and bounce, shift your weight, etc to assess the squeaks and creaks you’ll be dealing with, and talk or vocalize loudly in the space while your partner listens from different areas of the home. (Fake a phone call if you need to!) Tighten the screws and bolts on the bed frame to tame the squeaks, and pad the headboard with blankets or pillows to prevent knocking against the wall.
If there’s still no hiding it, toss your bedding on the floor and get down. Pillows and folded or rolled blankets are fantastic for positioning! You can still dampen sound in the area with a towel along the bottom of the door (remember that trick?), and playing some music on your phone does double duty by camouflaging your moans and setting the mood. If one or both of you is usually a screamer, experiment with kinky ways to keep quiet like gagging your lover with your panties or inviting them to cover your mouth with their hand. Lock the door or use a travel doorstop if you have a private room. If not, get out of any obvious sight lines and just…do your best.
Risk Level: 🤷
Some of these suggestions are sneakier than others, so be real with yourself about how well you handle a little white lie. If the idea of fibbing to your parents instantly transports you back to that time you broke curfew to hook up with your crush, a plan that relies more on opportunity and the technical truth might be a better fit.
Most of all, communicate with your partner and own your desires and comfort levels. With the proper planning and a dose of creativity, consideration for others in the same home and authentic, vibrant sexual expression can coexist, even in the most hectic time of the year.
Looking for some holiday sex videos and more goodies to unwrap? Browse our collection of erotic videos now.
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