Your Pleasure Horoscope for 2021 Aries Season

Active dates: 3.20 through 4.19

Aries season is here and it’s passion personified. Beware: everyone’s trying to top this month. What’s your topping style? Do you like to strap it on? Finger fuck your partner’s asshole? Sit on someone’s face? There’s no wrong way to ride the ram into springtime. 


The first sign of the zodiac, Aries begs you to start something fresh. Orgasmic highs are life and Aries won’t let you forget it. This is a fuck for fuck’s sake season. It’s throw around and be thrown around. It’s big, fiery, climax and loud as fuck O sounds.  

sun conjunct venus

March 26th brings a good, old fashioned peace, love and harmony transit. Sex for relaxation is the scene on this night. It’s a playful fuck in an oversized t-shirt, panties pulled to the side, followed by post-coital ice cream, right out of the bin, kind of night.

full moon

On the 28th the full moon in Libra invites you to flirt and be flirted with. Libra is peaceful, playful, and diplomatic. Open the windows and clear the energy with the dreamy Libra breeze. Cleanse sex toys and crystals. Clear your mind and eat ass.

venus square pluto

April 11th brings with it this rocky little transit. Buckle in. Pluto is old trauma and shame, Venus is security. You may be feeling insecurities and resentments in your relationships. It’s okay, babe, we’re all going through it. Tonight: if you can’t say anything nice, fuck yourself til you’re ready for bed. 

new moon

The new moon in Aries is on April 12th and you may still be feeling the Venus square Pluto energy. New moons are excellent nights for manifestation and ritual. Call in clarity, bring your focus to what you want to cultivate, and focus on all the resources you do have. Including that smoking hot bod.

mars trine jupiter

April 17th brings a good-fortune, high vibe kind of energy. This is an outgoing, adventurous transit and it wants you to take cute, fun risks and play to win. It’s a great night to make a grand gesture for your crush. Show them what you’ve got.


 Horoscopes by sign

Aries ♈️

It’s your season! You’re the top we all aspire to be. Tell your subs to lay down, lick your boot, and worship your whip. You didn’t come to make friends. 

Do: buy yourself that flashy flogger with the metal tip ends. Don’t: show mercy.


Taurus ♉️

Sensual and steady is your baseline. You’re driven by earthly delights. Go outside and smell the spring flowers, come inside and savor the scent of your lover’s pits after a long roll in the hay.

Do: make them lie still while you eat snacks off their belly. Don’t: forget to feed them the scraps.

Gemini ♊️

No one tops an intellectual conversation like a Gemini, except maybe a Sagittarius. This month you loved to be taken to task, knowing your razor sharp wit is always right on point. Your sense of play makes you a slap-happy lover who giggles while topping. 

Do: fuck yourself loudly in the other room; daring them to come join. Don’t: take too much joy in making them squirm.

Cancer ♋️

You’re a watery feelings babe but you’ve got service top vibes down. No one knows how to make their sub feel as juicy and well taken care of as you do. Are you maximizing your receptive superpowers, too? Make them lick it til you’re spent. 

Do: make sure it’s reciprocal. Don’t: stress the deep eye contact this month.

Leo ♌️

Whip your mane around, get your claws out, it’s hunting season and you’re the lion. The winter cave was almost too much to handle but don’t worry, Leo, your prey can’t wait to be chased down. Make them watch you drip all over the sheets before you eat them alive. 

Do: bring the big cat energy. Don’t: scratch too hard. 

Virgo ♍️

Bossy is your baseline, you know you’re well suited for Aries season. You’ve got a checklist and you’re not afraid to use it. Tie them up tight, with perfectly spidery knots. Then, make them watch you organize the room, slowly. You’re the boss, babe. 

Do: methodical edging till your genitals quiver. Don’t: get distracted with material concerns.

Libra ♎️

You were born flirting and you’re always right. You always know just the right game to play whether it’s sex toys til you squirt while your lover watches or spin the bottle before you slowly insert into their ass. Either way, you’re always generous with the lube and everyone loves you for it. 

Do: FaceTime three-ways. Don’t: overbook.

Scorpio ♏️

You’re here to go deep, really deep. You love to bend them over and tease their crack, let your spit run between their cheeks and wait for them to beg for more. You’re the ruler of the underworld and your lovers obsess over you till their dying day. We know you love it. 

Do: anal and sad, ghosty love songs. Don’t: forget to come up for air.

Sagittarius ♐️

You’re an adventurer, and a fire sign at that, so Aries season is a breath of fresh fire to you. Your philosophical wit rules the roost but can a mean lover, with a tireless whip, subdue your cocky little affectation? You’re always on the run, bring your vibrator with you. 

Do: rub off on their hand till the driver’s seat is all juiced up. Don’t: forget the batteries.

Capricorn ♑️

Nothing is bossier than a Capricorn in Aries season. Don’t let them cum til they tell you you’re the best they’ve ever had. Spit in their mouth while they moan it. It’s a win-win where everyone climaxes and acknowledges that you’re the boss. 

Do: bend them over the filing cabinet. Don’t: get carried away pontificating.

Aquarius ♒️

Everyone’s favorite space-alien loves to blow the pedestrian mind. This month it’s extra fun to mock your lover or ignore them while they beg, pants down (consensually, of course, Aquarius). You’re a community minded dungeon master and you want to make sure everyone gets a chance to gush until they’re empty. 

Do: knights and elves fantasy play. Don’t: forget you’re a human.


You’re damn dreamy and you love a creative fire under your ass. How about a fiery lover in your ass? Whether you’re giving or taking this month you’ll enjoy crafting long playlists that demand a full bottle of lube. Those anal beads you’ve been eyeing? Buy them and make some next level indie art porn. 

Do: ask for the raunchiest selfies to collage with. Don’t: forget to text them back.


Meet the author...

Meet the author...

Lily Kardon is a beauty editor and content strategist. Her first loves, however, are writing and all things esoteric. You can find her at @lilykcontent